Book Contracts and Postal Subversion

Heartbreak! Angst! And Gnashing of the Teeth! *Pause for dramatic collapse into strategically placed divan*

I'm fine, thanks for asking, but FedEx has just found itself off my Christmas list permanently, as will all evil-doers who get my hopes up only to dash them against the rocks. I suppose a little background is in order here..

To start with - my lifelong dream began coming true this week when I accepted an offer from a publisher for my first book deal. Oh yes, squeals of joy abounded and still are. See my Facebook announcement here for the squee. Since agreeing to terms I've been anxiously awaiting the contracts in the mail all week (actually, since the moment I hit 'Send' in the email back to the publisher in evident denial that snail mail doesn't work like email). So imagine my excitement when I get home from work last night to find a FedEx sticky on my door from a delivery attempt. I did a quick little tap dance in what was probably my 413th celebration this week.

The sticky said I was required to be there and present photo ID to receive the package, so I decided to take a couple hours of my much treasured and minimal personal leave from work and wait for it this morning.

Picture me here: The clock is ticking so slowly; the cats are fighting for the warmest spot on my lap; I'm trying to read while checking the time over, and over, and over, and over.... And then the door bell rings, causing me to launch two cats and one book into semi-ballistic orbit as I leap from the couch to get my hands on what I just know has to be the contract and thereby the gateway through which my dreams come true.

Now picture me here: The clock has now frozen and I'm standing in front of a slightly nervous FedEx guy as I hold the parcel I nearly ripped out of his hands in excitement. The only thing I see, however, is the name on the package.

Not. My. Frackin'. Name.

FedEx had the wrong house with the wrong addressee and it just happened to coincide with the time that I was expecting one of the most important packages of my life, which, in hindsight, will probably arrive via standard mail while I'm gone and without fanfare because hey, that's how real life actually goes.

So for now I'm back to obsessively checking the mailbox and putting those happy feet on hold...